I have been having difficulty focusing on my writing lately. Certain diversions like books, love, work, and fine weather have been pulling my mind in many different (well, four) directions. So rather than write something new for you, I have decided to write about the writing process itself. The following selection is semi-autobiographical, and details my particular writing process.
9:30 am. Wake up, make myself presentable (i.e., wear pants).
10 am. Put on some music, read from Chomsky
11:30 am. Sit and stare blankly at the laptop screen.
12 pm. Put on chef’s hat, prepare lunch of pasta and a strange side dish from the fridge. It is unidentifiable, but it tastes good and I can still see. So score.
12:20 pm. Stare blankly at laptop screen, hone Cosby impression.
12:45 pm. Put on a few episodes of The Simpsons for background noise.
1:05 pm. Grip the laptop tightly and stare intently at laptop screen in the hopes a brilliant idea might bore itself into the hard drive.
1:30 pm. Check email, browse monster.com
2:00 pm. Brainstorm on a blank sheet of paper.
2:10 pm. Destroy paper
2:12 pm. Take another stab at learning harmonica, while wishing for a chance at the banjo, hornpipe, or 80’s synthesizer.
2:40 pm. Challenge myself to a chess match.
2:41 pm. Accept challenge.
3:10 pm. Checkmate. I never saw it coming.
3:11 pm. Try to write, but who am I kidding.
3:35 pm. Leave for work.
10:45 pm. Return from work.
10:46 pm. Bourbon.
11 pm. Write ridiculous post.
11:30 pm. Bourbon.
1 am. Bed.
9:30 am. Repeat.
-Steve McGladdery
